This should make everyone laugh:

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner? 


Here is a little test that will help you decide.



You’re  walking down a
deserted street with your wife
and two  small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic
Terrorist with  a huge knife
comes around the corner,
locks  eyes with you,
screams obscenities, praises
Allah,  raises the knife, and charges at you…

You are carrying  a
Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your  family..
What  do you do? 


Democrat’s Answer:

  • Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!
  • Does the man look poor or oppressed?
  • Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
  • Could we run away?
  • What does my wife think?
  • What about the kids?
  • Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
  • What does the law say about this situation? 
  • Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
  • Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
  • Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?
  • Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
  • If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
  • Should I call 9-1-1?
  • Why is this street so deserted?
  • We need to raise taxes, have “Paint & Weed Day”
  • Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
  • I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. 
  • This is all so confusing! 

……………………………………
Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

…………………………………

Southerner’s  Answer:  

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!  BANG!
BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click….. (Sounds of reloading)
BANG!  BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
Click

Daughter: ‘Nice grouping, Daddy!’
‘Were  those the   Winchester  Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! ‘

Son: ‘Can I shoot the next one?!’

Wife: ‘You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist!

 

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